Ages 2 to 7
Up to 7 years of age, children see death mainly as a separation event. This may cause them to feel abandoned and scared. They may fear being alone, and may not want to sleep alone at night or go to school. Because children this young are usually not skilled at verbally expressing their feelings, they may “act out” instead, through behaviors such as temper tantrums, refusing to obey adults, or creating an imaginary life, accompanied by role-playing. Other behaviors, usually manifested by children between the ages of 2 and 5, may include eating, sleeping, toileting, or bed-wetting problems. Very young children under the age of 2 may suddenly refuse to talk, and become more irritable in general.
Ages 7 to 12
Children in this age group have begun to understand death as a permanent event. They may regard death as a more personal threat to their individual safety, develop a fear of dying themselves, or resort to “preventive” behaviors to “protect” themselves from death, such as aligning themselves with someone they think can protect them, or focusing on being “brave” or being “good”. Others may simply withdraw socially and/or emotionally from others. Symptoms may include problems concentrating on schoolwork, trouble following directions, and difficulty performing daily tasks. It is important to reassure them with calm and honest conversations to reduce fear and confusion.
